If a tree falls in the forrest...

but no-one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?  Of course there's a sound.  For some time now I've been that tree falling over and over again in "silence".  It hasn't been silence from the world as much as it's been my own evaluation of what falling even means.  Falling comes in a variety of ways and for me the biggest silencer of falling has been my own confidence.  If things aren't going well it's been my confidence that I can help get things back on track.  When there's been strained relationships that weigh on me, it's been my confidence that I can steer them back on track.  I have been believing that through this confidence change will come.  What I had forgotten for some time is that it's not about change, changing this person's view or changing my effort to 'make' things better, it's about me being grounded and confident in my ability to do what's best for me and not in my confidence of creating change elsewhere.  I've veered off course for a bit in an effort to work so hard in making change to things that didn't fit, this veering took over so many parts of me that I was changing and didn't even see it.  I was becoming the changes I was 'working' so hard to address.  This is where a person I love stepped in and helped me hear what it sounded like as I fell.  It was an awakening that reopened my eyes to what I need to do for myself.  I have some basic steps to follow but they are all driven by purpose; run - get out, be active, let the juices flow and be free in the world where my feet can take me anywhere.  An opportunity then fell to me to guide - helping someone do something they wouldn't otherwise be able to do is the greatest gift I an give.  Do - stop thinking and evaluating and looking for the perfect plan to create change, do more, ask more questions, talk to more people and live the change I want for myself.  I can be an influence to change but something or someone else other than me changing because of me is not my choice - it's theirs.  Lastly, I need to share more.  I have recently been experiencing what I call 'SSMR' - self social media reminders; I haven't written a blog since 2014, that year was rather defining for me in many ways: solidifying a new relationship, training more than I'd ever trained before, guiding more races than ever, blogging all the time, posting about conquering the world in my own way and with my own understanding.  That person has been revisiting my timeline on Facebook and I've been in aw.  I don't have the opportunity to be that person again, but that person has become my guide today and serves as a reminder to keep doing what I love no matter what.  I can do all the things I love to do and am passionate about doing regardless of deadlines, time constraints, work, jobs whatever... because I've done it before.  I never knew back then I'd be sharing as a way to remind myself at a future date to just live and love - and do it every day.  Find the things I love and showing it/them what it means to receive my love; live being active and feeding my soul with outdoors, beautiful sights and physical activity.  I have an amazing life, it may be easier to see when my tree is standing upright and tall but it was love that allowed me to see it as I was laying on the forrest floor.