Brave? Ballsy? Inspiration? How do you describe a person who decides to do something for someone else that they've never done for their self? I've heard these as well as other adjectives to describe what I'm doing with the upcoming Ironman. No, I haven't done an Ironman before; yes there will be someone depending on me to be able to complete the 140.6 mile trek; yes he is aware of the circumstances as well. If I had to come up with the adjective that I thought best describes the next 10 month's adventure, I'd say it would be accountability. I can honestly say that I have not reached my potential as a runner or triathlete; and I am 100% certain that that is my own fault. I have never made myself 100% accountable for my training. I have always done a 'good job' training. I feel I've been prepared for all the races I've done but I've never set myself up to be the best marathoner or triathlete that I can be. Now, I don't have a choice. I knew in my heart that I would put forth my best training and dedication if I wasn't doing it for myself. Why do so many runners fund raise??? Accountability. No one wants to put their self out there for a cause and then fall on their face in failure. Is there pressure? Hell yeah there's pressure, but it's not pressure to do something I can't do. I haven't volunteered to do something that I am not capable of doing because I have learned that I am the only thing holding me back. I have not qualified for the Boston Marathon because of what's between my ears; when it's cold and the sun isn't up yet and my alarm goes off, I can hit snooze and 'justify' it to myself; but for the next 10 months I don't have that luxury. But it's not pressure, it's peace of mind. Peace of mind in knowing that I am able. Peace of mind in knowing that I will not hold myself back. Peace of mind that athletes like Rod (blind - multiple marathons and a half Ironman) and Kathy (visually impaired - marathon and multiple half marathons) complete, show that it isn't right for someone like me to have low expectations of those with disabilities. Peace of mind knowing that when everything is said and done and it's the end of the race Sunday September 9th, 2012 and I cross that finish line, that those that don't know me, those that don't read this blog, those who aren't my Facebook friends, they won't know who I am, they will see the person that's inspiring me to do all of this and they will only know that I was accountable.
